Mother Letter

A friend of my mother’s contacted me recently and asked me to write a letter to my mother about her or about anything I wanted to say to her.  She will receive this letter on Saturday as a surprise during one of her christian group services.

I’ve written about my mother before.  Most of the time I’ve criticized the way she raised me or about any of the number of quirky habits she does.  See  my blog Every Rapture Has A Silver Lining.  Tasked with writing a sentimental, non-critical piece, I could spew lovey dovey phrases about how I’m so thankful that she raised me.  It would look something like a macaroni piece a second grader would make.  I could even add a crayon drawn picture.

She’s written letters to me before.  When I went to camp three summers in a row, I received maybe one letter from her.  I have a feeling it went something like:

Have you been a good girl?  Are you washing your face and brushing your teeth?  Don’t get fresh with any of the boys.

 

Now that we live in different states, our interactions work like this each weekend when she visits:

1 Hour of her telling me I don’t keep a clean house.

1 Hour of me telling her that I do too keep a clean house and if she doesn’t like it then she can clean it.

She’ll throw in “The world is going to end, you better behave.”

I’ll tell her that gay people are equal and should be allowed to marry.

Every daughter has this relationship with her first generation immigrant mother.  I am grateful that she raised me, even if we weren’t the closest while I was going through my teen years.   Mothers are supposed to be unconditionally loved by their children.  That’s why she can get away with buying a bulk load of ugly cheap dollar store fake flowers for my wedding.  And why I can get away with having a bridezilla moment and throw them from the second story window.

I’ve never had to write a letter to my mother.  Putting unspeakable unconditional love down in words seems impossible.  But I’m not the daughter to leave her mother out in the cold while everyone else gets a secret surprise love letter from a family member.

So here it goes:

Dear Mom,

I hope you are enjoying retirement.  I bet the house is sparkling clean.  Any of my old clothes I left in the dressers or any of the household items I brought back from college can be thrown out or donated.  Unless you want to keep them.  But you really shouldn’t because you don’t need anymore clothes.  Tim and I and the baby are doing fine.  We love you very much.  We look forward to having you clean our house and to help us with our first baby.

Love,

Kristina